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Showing posts with label true. Show all posts
Showing posts with label true. Show all posts

Friday, November 15, 2013

Wicked Wild Wise Words

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Of course I'm in shape. Isn't Round a shape?

Time flies like an arrow, while fruit flies like a banana.

I am not short, I just don't have to bend down as far.

A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation.

Consciousness- that annoying time between naps.

May today be better than yesterday, but, not as good as tomorrow.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

What is originality? Undetected plagiarism.

Everyone has the power to make others happy. Some do it by entering the room, others by leaving it.

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

Monday, July 1, 2013

Students

Students in the class

(-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-) (-_-)

When teacher say tomorrow will be exam

(O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O) (O_O)

During the exam

(→_→) (←_←) (→_→) (←_←) (→_→) (←_←)

When monitor comes in

(↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓)

In the end of the exam

(͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏) (͡๏̯͡๏)

Monday, June 17, 2013

King kong died because he...

King kong died because he...

Friday, February 15, 2013

Love Syndrome

Love Syndrome
------------------

Etiology: Unknown.

Age of Onset:
Mostly teenage. Recent studies have shown that it may affect people of any age group.

Risk Factors:
The age itself is the major risk factor. Others include…
(a) Co-education
(b) Cell Phones
(c) Movies
(d) Internet
of these the part played by the cell phones is noteworthy.

Pathology:
Multi-organ System Failure.

Clinical Features

Symptoms:
A) The most common presenting feature is throbbing pain in the heart often described by the patient as sweet pain.
B) Loss of appetite.
C) Sleeplessness.
D) Daydreaming
E) Disinterest in any type of work. There is a danger of patient being transformed into a poet.


Signs:
A) Very much dilated pupil (In search of his sweet heart).
B) Blushing of cheeks (mainly seen in girls).
C) On Auscultation: The First Heart Sound is heard as LOVE instead of LUB.
D) Smiling to self.

Pathogenesis and Clinical Course:

The Disease is gradual in onset. The patient presents with vague symptoms like loss of appetite, sleeplessness, etc., As time progress multi-organ system involvement occurs with varied symptoms. The symptoms are aggravated at the sight of patients sweetheart The sight of patients love causes the contraction of the radial fibres of the iris muscle leading to the dilation of the pupil. The eyes remain wide open and cease to blink. The Zygomaticus major muscle automatically contracts and the patient smiles (Smile at Sight Phenomenon). As the patient approaches his sweetheart action potentials are generated at an irregular rate in the heart and the normal rhythm of the heart is lost. Microscopic examination of the cardiac muscle reveals the presence of abnormal pacemaker tissue at certain areas called the ROMANTIC SPOTS that are responsible for the lost rhythm of the Heart. The patient feels agitated, and a throbbing pain develops in the heart. The characteristic feature of the pain that patient wants to feel it more and more. In advanced stages, the brain is affected. If not treated properly, the patient may go bad.

Treatment:

Marriage Therapy holds promise of 100% cure rates. If is effective only after 22 years of age. If performed early, it may lead to adverse reactions.

Preventive Measures:

Several attempts have been made to prevent the disease. The WLO (World Love Organization) expert committee has finally declared that the disease is inevitable during the age group and its prevention is literally impossible. Any attempts to interrupt the normal course of the disease may lead to more severe from of disease. So interventional measures are highly contraindicated for this disease.

Complication:

Complication of love syndrome is euphoria, financial crisis, idiotic look, loss of appetite and sleep. Acute romantic failure lead to suicidal tendency. Survival may have life long immunity.



Source: http://medicalhumour.wordpress.com/2012/10/20/love-syndrome/ 

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Definition of study

Definition of study

Monday, October 15, 2012

I swear my brain is 70% song lyrics

I Swear my brain is 70% song lyrics

Thursday, October 4, 2012

The 7 habits of man & woman

The 7 habits of man & woman

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Destroy racism

Destroy racism be like a panda

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The more people i meet... | True Quote

The More People I Meet, The Less I Want To Leave The House.

Monday, July 30, 2012

We all have that friend... | Funny But True

We all have that friend that acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes

Sunday, July 29, 2012

The Brain | True Quote

The brain is the most outstanding organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from birth untill you fall in love.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Live your life and forget your age | True Quote

Live your life and forget your age

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Changing the emblem | Funny Joke

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.

Gum in class

Lol so true post 503 When you open a pack of gum in class

Sunday, May 27, 2012

TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS

Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."
Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."
Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."
Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"
Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."
Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."
Statement: "How much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."
Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."
Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
Statement: "I think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."
Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine."

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Dictionary for women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card